Federal Courthouse, Natchez

This is the Federal Courthouse located in Natchez. Dedicated in 2007, it serves the Mississippi Southern District. The legislature approved the establishment of a Federal Courthouse in Natchez in 1999. Hearings were held in 2001 regarding the funding for the overhaul of the building, Memorial Hall. Memorial Hall was in the past used as public library, an opera house, and a skating rink. Renovations were finished in 2007 and the building was dedicated October 22, 2007.
Is there a point to this? Yes. In July, I received a questionnaire for potential Federal Court jurors. I wrote in every available space "I work for lawyers", or words to that effect. I figured, no way they would call me. I was summonsed to jury duty in Circuit Court a few years ago, and as soon as I walked in the Courtroom, lawyers huddled. Every lawyer in Natchez knows who I am and who I work for. I was release in very short order. I figured the same would happen again.
No such luck. Two weeks ago, I got a jury summons. Federal Court, so I can't count on walking in and knowing every lawyer in the room. I have to call an 800 number EVERY NIGHT in September to see if I have to show up. Now, the problem is this. Do I WANT to serve? Nope, not a chance. I know too much. They would strangle me in the jury room.
So how do I get out of this?
Jess suggested walking in, saying "Give them the death penalty". Now while that may well work if it is a criminal case, the vast majority of cases heard in District Court are civil. And there is no way I want to get stuck for a week or so listening to a car wreck case. I see enough of that at work. So, any ideas?